The following limerick was penned by my blog editor and longtime friend, Paul Fisk. The opinions are those of the author and not necessarily those of the publisher of the blog (but the publisher agrees with 99.8 percent of them). Ken Kruly
Connecting the Donald’s dots
By Paul Fisk
Once mocked by Prez forty-four
Trump now does things we abhor
If Obama once did it
Of the world he must rid it
He’s trying to settle a score
This con man came to the fray
Finding angry people to play
Fact checkers have found
His untruths know no bound
You can’t believe half the words he does say
Despots find the Big Lie has appeal
As a country they manage to steal
If enough times you cry it
Some people will buy it
Trump called that The Art of the Deal
Even Trump didn’t think he would win it
And yet he soon found himself in it
Third grade level speaker
He won in a squeaker
Popular vote said he shouldn’t have been it
He campaigned unlike all tradition
Lying daily without inhibition
He’d insult and demean
Like we’d never seen
Profound ignorance his pre-existing condition
Campaigning as religious hobbyist
And acting out at his snobbiest
He claimed he did pray
But the bible doesn’t say
Love your neighbor only if he’s a lobbyist
In a nation increasingly tribal
Evangelicals he tried not to libel
But in courting their vote
He struck a sour note
He was two Corinthians short of a bible
For style he doesn’t much care
As shown by long ties he does wear
Fashionistas may grieve
But he wants you to believe
There’s something long dangling down there
Constitutional ignorance unsaid
Sworn in on a book he’d not read
He’d expound loud and proud
On the size of his crowd
Tho photos proved him out of his head
Appointing lobbyists to his Animal Farm
Forcing EPA and Health to disarm
He eagerly leapt
To appoint the inept
But to his base he’s doing real harm.
Easy victories he thought he would see
And get everything done before tea
Then when up things he blew
He said nobody knew
How complicated health care could be
In government he’d never been
His ignorance is really a sin
Bill details unknown
Didn’t want to be shown
All he cared for was getting a win
His Tweets couldn’t make me any queasier
Or his actions be any sleazier
With no hint of disgrace
He said with straight face
That he thought the job would be easier
Causing pain like an abscessed molar
And habitat loss for bears polar
Environmental regs he does cut
With his mind firmly shut
While the Coal Museum switches to solar
While pushing renewed use of coal
Abdicating our international role
Russia, China play chess
He finds checkers too much stress
Only able to play Whack A Mole
At other nations racist insults he’s hurled
Standing by our flag unfurled
But he’s not made us stronger
But rather no longer
The leader of the free world
The wealthy he doesn’t want to tax
Citing false Laffer curve tracts
Claims to help middle class
Pulled out of his ass
He’s spouting alternative facts
Their game plan is one we all know
Cut taxes, let the deficit grow
Claim the cupboard is bare
Cut Medicaid and Medicare
Social security then the next one to go
GOP loyalty goes first to re-election
Then to donors a tax cut selection
For the wealthy there’s more
At the expense of the poor
Health and aid cuts give Paul Ryan an erection
Supporters live in their alt right small box
With conspiracies, Breitbart and Fox
Consumed by venality
And alternate reality
Still believing their guy really rocks
He shows no regard for our laws
Big league greed one of his many flaws
Undermining democracy
In favor of kleptocracy
And ignoring the emoluments clause
The GOP offers no excuse
For condoning sexual abuse
To many women’s cries
They turn their blind eyes
They’re content to just be obtuse
Twice kicked from the bench he did sit on
Roy Moore chose the Senate to bid on
Now they showed him the door
And so much for Roy Moore
And the same to the horse he rode in on
Secret Service upwards did glance
Trump Tower fire spotted by chance
At the home of this liar
The source of the fire
Was found to be simply his pants
When the Donald tweets, brays and roars
His insecurity index just soars
And we realize with a sigh
He’s just stuck in junior high
Claiming “mine’s much bigger than yours”
He boasts of great deeds divine
To prove that he’s doing just fine
To combat his slump
He claims thanks to Trump
No planes fell on any oil pipeline
So we may see early end to his season
‘Cause he seems to be losing all reason
For removal most call
We may see his downfall
And even Bannon now said the word “treason”
Trump views his future with dread
As Mueller follows the thread
Trump’s outlook is fraught
He’s about to be caught
And he’s in way over his head
Loans and lawyers he sought from top ranks
But he stiffed workers, law firms and banks
Now no top one would lend him
Or even defend him
They all told him “Sorry, no thanks”
Ties to Russia and Putin denied
All around him persistently lied
Tho his son bragged of funding
From Russian sources bundling
There’s something he’s desperate to hide
He’s clearly existentially afraid
Is it because of what someone was paid?
Or did Russia’s injections
Really sway the elections?
Or his country has he really betrayed?
In desperation the GOP does try
Defaming Mueller and the FBI
They perform desperate acts
‘Cause they can’t dispute facts
A ploy that we just can’t let fly
There are many ways by which he could go
All related to malignant ego
Obstruction or collusion
Or psychiatric delusion
Only Mueller may currently know
Eating cheeseburgers in his bed slash dinner table
Donald tweeted he was genius and stable
But this venting his ire
At Fury and Fire
Further proved stable genius was fable
Dots all there for Mueller to connect them
‘Tho Trumpsters will all just reject them
They’ll rant, rave and shout
But truth will win out
And hopefully we will eject them
To prove Trump’s business is funny
And the country to have days more sunny
What Mueller must do
To prove these things true
Is probably just follow the money
I’m outraged and just want to shout
That we need to organize a rout
I’m embarrassed as a resident
By our shit-for-brains president
And want to just get him OUT.
The first time that I did hear
Time’s list for person of last year
For Mueller I did hope
But then I said “Nope
I hope that he gets it THIS year”