The Godfather — Part IV

This month we can see the well-promoted film, The Irishman, on the big screen for a very limited run. That will be followed by the film’s availability on Netflix. Netflix’s teaser explains the movie like this: “Welcomed into a crime family, he followed orders, kept secrets — and swayed history. Martin Scorsese’s epic tale of power and loyalty.”

Movies like The Godfather and its sequels and GoodFellas have always drawn tremendous interest, and are often considered some of the great classics of Hollywood. The Irishman could also be a big hit. But why settle for something loosely “based on a true story,” when you have at your fingertips a real, compelling true story?

Hollywood has a well-established habit of turning real life happenings into stories for the big screen. So how could they resist a movie about a boss whose adventures follow the pattern of an underworld boss?

Torn from the newspapers and TV screens of America comes the true life story of a boss who achieves total control of the American government and works to manipulate his international power for his own financial and nefarious purposes. Coming in 2020 – The Godfather – Part IV.

Casting is still underway, but here is part of the line-up of stars for the upcoming blockbuster who are signed so far:

  • The Don, aka Donald J. Trump – played via hologram graphics and voice synthesizer by the late Marlon Brando
  • Don “Fredo” Trump, Jr. – Steve Carrell
  • Ivanka Trump – Kate McKinnon
  • The ghost of lawyer Roy Cohn – Al Pacino
  • Rudy Guiliani – Joe Pesci
  • The President of Ukraine – Sacha Baron Cohen

The following is the working script from one scene in the movie:

The Don: We have a big problem. Our golf course resort revenues are drying up, and we’re left with forcing the military and Mike Pence to use the places. The name brand value is diminishing. They’re taking my name off of my buildings! We need time to rebuild and make us rich again, but I’ll need another term in office to solidify everything. We’ll need to be creative about what we are doing.

Fredo:   I could call a meeting with some of my foreign contacts to see what dirt they have on the Dems. They tell me they could demolish Joe, Bernie, Pete and Pocahontas.

The Don: Bernie will self-destruct and Mayor Pete isn’t ready for prime time. What do they have on Biden and Warren?  Who can help us this time?

Cohn’s ghost, seen hovering over the room: Look for people who are desperately in need of your help to save themselves. You need real dirt this time.

Rudy: I know, I know – Vladymyr Zelensky!

The Don: Who?

Rudy: The new President of Ukraine. The Bidens had something going on there. The Ukrainians are fighting the Russians. They need your help. You have leverage.

The Don: Yeah, yeah, that money they want for missiles and communication devices. I can make him an offer he can’t refuse. You’re my consigliere, Rudy.  You’ll deliver the message.

Rudy: No problem.  I’ll line up my band of merry men, Igor and Lev, and we’ll take care of everything.  Then I’ll go on CNN and Fox and pull one of my usual ranting, incoherent acts. The press will never know.  They fall for diversions all the time.

The Don: That’s what I love about you, Rudy. You talk nonsense even better than me, and the lame stream media goes off on a wild goose chase.  You can come up with a good cover-up for what we are really doing.

Ivanka:  Daddy, I don’t feel comfortable with you talking about a “cover-up.”

The Don: Don’t worry, no one will figure it out.  I’ll just fire up a tweet storm about some new BS topic.

Fredo: The good news with this is that we’re raising a ton on money from our base off of all of this stuff. We told them it was for an Impeachment Defense Fund and they’re buying it hook, line and sinker.

The Don: So get me President Zelensky on the phone.

Fredo: Got him.

The Don: President Zelensky. Congratulations on your election.

Zelensky: It was easy, but who am I to tell you that? You showed me the winning formula. Get a TV show that makes it look like I know what I’m doing. Capitalize on voters falling for that. Then I’m on my way to Making Ukraine Great Again!

The Don: Now, Vlad, can I call you Vlad? I know you need some missiles to fight off the Russians. We can work that out. I’ll just need a little favor, though.

Coming soon to the big screen in 2020 — The Godfather – Part IV

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